Just today, I got my 1,000th recruiter email in the last ~4 years. I know this
is the number because I’m slightly obsessed with
and have added a specific label to each and every recruiter email I’ve gotten
in my gmail account. Let’s see: 365 days per year, minus 104 weekend days and,
say, 10 vacation days, gives us roughly 250 working days per year.
That means that, on average, 1 recruiter emails me every single business day.
There are a few take aways from this:
- Being a software engineer is awesome. We don’t apply to jobs, they apply to
- If you are a recruiter, you’re up against some serious competition.
- I’ve seen recruiter emails from every tech company you can think of. Some
are comically bad.
In this blog post, I’m going to share snippets from a few of the bad ones.
Subject: Follow up
I’m not assuming you’re looking for a new roll right now but I wanted to
follow up and gather your feedback.
Wrong! I could totally go for some sushi.
Subject: Opportunities at XXX
We are challenged every day, moving very quickly, and recruit only rock
Man, I really wish I could join your band.
Subject: Quick question (Developer opportunities)
Good day. Hope all is well.
I am reaching out to you because of the recent severe reorg and layoffs at
your company I read about.
Wow, that escalated quickly.
Subject: Hello from XXX
My name is XXX – I’m the Director, Engineering of the Growth Team at
Yes, this email literally said <name>. Umm, no thanks <company>.
Subject: Full time Scala opportunity
Currently, we are looking for an, “Engineer” to help deliver a range of new
products. High-performance, high-scalability, high-traffic, heavy Scala, etc.
Any interest in having a casual chat about this role…a few minutes…you
have an interesting background?
This email from a, “recruiter”, has, an interesting… way, with words?
Subject: principal java software engineer
happy valentine’s day!
hope this new year has provided time for some fun activities.
our family started off the new year attending a terrific concert a couple of
weeks ago. the performance reinforced the experience of music as a true
combination of four creative forces (composer, conductor, musician and
audience) in communicating ideas, thoughts & feeling. we were fortunate to
hear pieces from Wagner, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Leonard Bernstein to Holst.
an awesome introduction to the symphony for kids!
if you might have time for a quick chat, i’d like to share a principal-level
Worst valentines day card ever.
Subject: looking for a great technical dev manager!
I think this role may not be exactly up your ally, but I am hoping you can
recommend some great folks for us!
I don’t want anything up my ally, thank you.
Subject: Getting back in touch. Kleiner Perkins and Sequoia portfolio companies.
The portfolio company that I’m most excited about is financed by Greylock
and Reid Hoffman who founded PayPal and LinkedIn, which as you know is one of
the high-profile IPOs of 2011.
Ah, yes, Link-ed-in… I may have heard of it.
Subject: Stealth startup
The service will be disruptive and impact billions of technology users.